“Many people think that love is very easy, but it is difficult to find the right partner,” Erich Fromm writes in his classic “The Art of Love“. But love is not a feeling that you just have to indulge in, explains Fromm. On the contrary: it is an art that needs to be learned. To really love requires the development of the whole personality. True fulfillment requires courage, faith and discipline. The socially critical work of the social psychologist, published for the first time in 1956, is one of the most successful non-fiction books in the late 20th century with more than 25 million copies sold. In it, Erich Fromm takes a critical look at the decay of love in the modern western world. Above all, the romantic understanding of love in a capitalist society leads to many forms of pseudo love, in which many relationships are just being alone for two. The desire for love is the strongest striving in people. Fromm does not provide a ready-made recipe, but shows ways of access that can help you master the art of true love.
Thich Nhat Hanh once said that ‘loving without knowing how to love hurts the person we love’. The problem is that we often see love as something passive. Falling in love for many is the side effect of love at first sight, which strikes and almost paralyzes us, where we basically have no choice but to drift away and hope that our love will be reciprocated and nurtured by this loved one and ultimately leads to a relationship. All of this should happen without us having to invest energy, creativity and reciprocity.
‘Loving in an intelligent and perfect way is the result of a well-considered act, a project that requires grandeur while aiming for it’. If we limit ourselves to drifting, acting in a passive manner and waiting for what the other is saying, doing, guessing and answering, we will end up being extremely frustrated. This is exactly what the German social psychologist, psychoanalyst and philosopher Erich Fromm taught us in his book The Art of Loving.
Below we would like to introduce you to a few quotes from Erich Fromm that come from this unforgettable work. It’s always worth taking a look inside.
The Art Of Love Quotes-
Knowing how to be alone is fundamental to the art of love. If we can be alone, we can be with others without using them as an escape route.
Love is a decision, it is a judgment, it is a promise. If love were just a feeling, there would be no basis for the promise to love yourself forever. A feeling comes and can go. How can I judge that it will remain forever if my action does not include judgment and decision?
Love is not natural. Rather, it requires discipline, concentration, patience, faith, and overcoming narcissism. It is not a feeling, it is an exercise.
Most people are not even aware of the need to adapt. They live under the illusion that they are following their own ideas and inclinations, that they are individualistic, that they have come to their opinions based on their own thinking, and that it just so happens that their ideas are the same as most.
Love is an activity and not a passive affection. It is something you develop in yourself, not something you fall into.
Those who can (and want) to go beyond the initial sexual attraction and arousal will try to create true intimacy, they will strive to make love real, mature and courageous love.
Being loved for your merit, because you deserve it, always raises doubts; Maybe I didn’t like the person I want to love, maybe this or that; there is always a fear that love will go away.
Love is not primarily a relationship with a specific person; It is an attitude, an order of character, that determines man’s relationship with the whole world as a whole, not with an object of love.
Life is the art of love. Loving is the art of caring. Caring is the art of sharing. Sharing is the art of living. If you want to sit down, pick someone else up.
Love means, without any guarantee, fully committing ourselves in the hope that our love produces love in the loved one. Love is an act of faith, and he who has little faith is little love.
Only when you master the art of loving yourself can you really love others. Only when you have opened your own heart can you touch the hearts of others. If you feel centered and alive, you are in a much better position to be a better person.
Love is an active force in people; a force that crosses the walls, that separates man from his neighbor and unites him with others; Love makes him overcome the feeling of isolation and separation, but allows him to be himself, to maintain his integrity.
Most people see the problem of love primarily as the problem of being loved rather than loving and being able to love.
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